


our father (or, the unexpected virtue of ignorance)

by ifuckboyswhofuckgirls (cadmiumredvulpini)



Series: steve rogers on being a good christian [2]
Category: Captain America (Movies), Captain America - All Media Types
Genre: Cousin Incest, Cousins AU, Gay Sex, Latin Words, M/M, Prayer, humping
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-10-16
Updated: 2015-10-16
Packaged: 2018-04-26 15:52:42
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Underage
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,239
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5010700
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cadmiumredvulpini/pseuds/ifuckboyswhofuckgirls
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>i mean, who knew?</p><p>(nothing to do with birdman but everything to do with the story.)</p><p>
  <i>steve can almost hear the church bells calling him, hear the punishment and judgement in their sharp, brass voices, threatening to drown every other sound in the world.</i>
</p><p>
  <i>Pater noster, qui es in caelis, sanctificetur nomen tuum</i>
</p><p>
  <i>(our father, who art in heaven, hallowed be thy name)</i>
</p><p>
  <i>bucky exhales slowly, forcing a tentative smile through his mistletoe lips.</i>
</p><p>
  <i>"you're sure?"</i>
</p>
            </blockquote>





	our father (or, the unexpected virtue of ignorance)

**Author's Note:**

> my fics are not as dead as you think they are.
> 
> i, however, certainly am. college is fucking hard, man.

the first time steve and bucky meet is when bucky's mom comes over to bring sarah rogers a freshly baked brownie cake, from across the hall.

(and frankly it all happened too fast, the rogers only moved in the day before and the two were thick as thieves, mother and mother.)

steve is seventeen and he doesn't know this woman who his mother is so close to--without preface or introduction, they're laughing and talking down the hall with equal levels of light inebriation, and maybe a few more glasses of wine in hand to further that. and bucky's mom smiles and tells his son to play nice, and following after her is the most gorgeous boy steve's ever laid eyes on.

jesus christ, steve swallows as he watches the other boy with growing curiosity, his pupils dilating in unchristian desire. long dark hair falls over a pretty, boyish face, and steve, just like that is captivated. drawn into this boy's trap and slipping out of st. peter's fishing net.

(and, oh, steve feels himself slipping into sin just looking at him.)

this familiar (almost too familiar) boy fetches himself a glass of soda pop and walks towards him, all boyish swagger and hot, tight body, and steve can only imagine what it would be like to be under all that, and his mind goes hazy just thinking about it.

steve shrugs himself out of reverie and drops his eyes when the other boy smiles at him. and bucky's mom goes out the door and this boy alights beside him on the couch, setting down his glass of cola and taking the remote control from the coffee table idly, switching the channel to something a little more tolerable than morning talkshow.

"i'm bucky, by the way."

$$$

the second time they meet is when steve is stuck outside the door, coming home from art school, and bucky clambers up the stairwell, fresh from his (school? job? girlfriend?)

bucky only gives him a smile and then takes out a jangling mess of keys. he picks one, distinct key with a blue tag on it that says 'rogers', handwritten in big, black letters (and steve realizes this later that it's his mother's handwriting) and slips it into the doorknob firmly, and, to no surprise, turns it and swings the door open.

(and steve would invite him inside if only he didn't have a h(uge crush on him)eadache.)

"your mom said this might happen,"

steve wants to hug the other boy and give him a chorus of thank yous, but his mind is reeling from a lesson on non verbal communication, and hence decides to give bucky a small nod of gratitude, and then slips into the apartment skittishly.

bucky chuckles again, light and low and calls out steve's welcome, and steve thinks about if he's sent any wrong messages. he turns around to say thank you when immediately he stops short--

"oh,"

bucky was in his way, and their two bodies met at the threshold of the apartment, tall and reasonably short, stocky and tiny, golden and pasty. steve froze in place, eyes (frantically trying to look at as much of the body before him up close) heading straight for the floor. bucky doesn't back up and then the scent of the other boy (man, judging by that powerful, attractive musk) overwhelms steve.

it wasn't foul, no, it was warm and masculine and thick with testosterone, and it smelled like a rich, powerful caramel. and some part of steve was just automatically responding to this man's beautiful scent. like they were made for--

bucky steps back abruptly, unfazed by the intimate interaction. he apologizes and hands steve back his sketch pad (which he had apparently dropped at some point during their encounter), once again returning outside the apartment.

freshly after a discussion on non verbal communication, steve slams the door (in bucky's face.)

and he heads straight for the bedroom to think about something other than bucky.

(or his body)

$$$

the third time they meet is when sarah and steve are invited to supper over at bucky's because it is bucky's mom's birthday. some of bucky's mom's other friends come over, and the other neighbors too, but when most of it is over (the eating and talking and gift exchanging) steve and sarah are the only remaining guests.

steve knows it's deliberate. bucky's mom only probably really enjoyed their company, owing to the wider, more natural smile she has on her face. she offers them pudding that she made, and sarah politely refuses, saying she's had too much already, and so steve takes the small bowl of--

"oh my god mrs. barnes this is amazing." steve worms out as soon as he gets a spoonful in, barely finishing the sentence because another spoonful was on its way inside. mrs. barnes chuckled, much like his son's laugh, deep and rich, and then turned to sarah--they would go for a much needed smoke and wine break, well, steve's mom wouldn't (would _never_ ) because of steve's asthma, even though some said it helped ease the pain. they left steve and bucky alone.

well, left steve alone. bucky was nowhere to be found, disappearing since most of the partygoers disappeared into their own apartments as well.

which now it came to steve that the sound of rushing water and jets of it onto skin was actually bucky taking a bath.

steve ran out of the apartment and drew himself a long one.

(and not think about the boy who lived across his apartment, and not touch himself, no, sir.)

$$$

and this time, steve and bucky are left alone in the rogers apartment, and steve doesn't exactly remember much of what was happening but all he knows is he's on the couch, and bucky's staring at him, really staring, and it's painfully obvious that steve is enjoying the attention.

(and somehing ticks inside of steve he starts hearing father johnson in his head, absolving him of sin.)

In nomine patria, et filius et spiritui sancti, amen.

(in the name of the father, and of the son, and of the holy spirit, amen.)

but steve leans in closer, bucky's scent of fresh morning dew and strong masculine musk that does nothing but pull him in deeper, magnetized to the small touch of their elbows, of skin on flushed skin, heat against heat. and he's saying no with his head but his entire body language is telling bucky otherwise, and his blue gloxinia eyes stare into the other man's cool, grey own and the entire sinfulness of the idea that they're together is getting more palpable with each passing moment.

steve can almost hear the church bells calling him, hear the punishment and judgement in their sharp, brass voices, threatening to drown every other sound in the world.

Pater noster, qui es in caelis, sanctificetur nomen tuum

(our father, who art in heaven, hallowed be thy name)

bucky exhales slowly, forcing a tentative smile through his mistletoe lips as he's scratching somewhere under the hem of his shirt, pulling the dark fabric up and revealing taut golden skin and fresh untainted canvas and god, steve would like to paint him all the shades of red, deep alizarin and bright cadmium red. and that's how steve's face is right now, a sinful shade of vermillion, because he realizes his eyes are fixated on that short expanse of exposed skin.

"you're sure?"

and bucky's honey voice comes out dry and nervous because steve's hand (and he swears he doesn't mean to) is resting on his thigh and steve's eyes are on him, all blue and innocent and oh, what lies they tell.

because nothing particularly innocent is running through steve's mind right now. and steve barely remembers they were having a conversation because he can barely carry it through anymore. he almost forgets what they were talking about.

"yeah, i'm sure, it's alright."

steve nods. and just like that they've agreed on one thing, whatever that thing was.

and then steve plops right beside satan because (Adveniat regnum tuum. Fiat voluntas tua, sicut in caelo et in terra. thy kingdom come, thy will be done on earth as it is in heaven) oh god, oh holy god bucky smiles this perfect, laconic, sunset smile, all bright and warm and radiant and his hand slips further up steve's jeans and the boy's breath almost catches in his throat like it was solid.

steve's impossibly hard, if it isn't already obvious how his breathing is picking up on its pace, his legs are tensing because the position he's in (where bucky is half-turned to him, one leg casually folded onto the couch, and steve is sitting with his back at an angle that's pretty much bad for your health, his legs stretched out in front of him) isn't exactly conducive for hiding your raging boner. so, steve tries to shift backwards, put his back against the couch and his ass firmly into the soft cushions to hide the tent in his pants, but it's the wrong decision.

because the action causes bucky's fingers to find exactly what he was trying to hide (and steve would like to admit some part of him thought he had done it on purpose, some other part of him said, on the other hand, that it was bucky who'd been intent on doing that all day) and the both of them blush like the hormonal virgin boys they actually are. bucky's eyes flick to steve's and vice versa, and they're both staring at each other with tangible _i want to have sinful homosexual sex with you eyes_ that the blonde one of them almost faints.

Panem nostrum quotidianum da nobis hodie, et dimitte nobis debita nostra sicut et nos dimittimus debitoribus nostris.

(give us this day, our daily bread, and forgive us our trespasses as we forgive those who trespass against us)

steve nods just as bucky palms his erection and steve swears that he could come right there. so what he does to assuage that intense, white heat and painful pleasure is to push bucky down onto the cushions and mush their lips together, locking them into a desperate kiss.

dimitte nobis debita nostra.

bucky's hand is still lingering possessively over steve's crotch, squeezing and palming and probing the denim fabric like a broke man looking for change. and his other hand is rising to meet steve's chest, fingers closing over steve's white shirt pulling him flush against his body and boy, _was that bucky's dick?_

dimitte nobis debita nostra.

steve moans out loud because he can feel bucky's length against his cock, hard and angry under the black fabric. he goes heady and takes a wild breath, breaking their kiss all of a sudden. bucky takes advantage of this, and then sucks down on steve's thin, ivory neck, threatening to draw the reddest of reds and paint it a thousand shades of bruise blue.

steve's breath almost hitches as bucky palms the both of them, and then rolling, grinding down on steve's hardness and it takes all of steve's effort to _not_ come right then.

dimitte nobis debita nostra

dimittimus debitoribus nostris.

bucky breathes as he tells steve to spread his legs, whispering fervently into his heated ears, brushing away the soft blonde locks of hair. steve obliges, parting his legs and oh, if it were possible for them to get even closer they would have reached the closest two human beings can get to each other (without fucking.)

bucky's breathing paces faster and faster, and steve is mindlessly whimpering into his mouth as the brunette humps against him, grinding their aching lengths together. bucky's hands find steve's hips and he grips him like that, needy, desperate.

"oh, jesus..." bucky moans, and then he pulls back, steve following after him, his back lifting from the couch. bucky's eyes never leave steve's and the brunette lies back on the cushions--an invitation.

steve climbs on top of bucky, slipping over bucky's broad legs and hard length before planting another wet kiss to his lips and sliding onto his knees between bucky's powerful thighs. he looks up for confirmation and he meets those grayblue eyes

he stops. steve can see the remorse in his eyes, the glint of NoNoNoNoNo and the way his eyes are wide tell him he's in shock.

(admittedly steve's also a little shaken, never expecting this unreasonably attractive boy to have done to him what they just did, but not like this, no.)

steve doesn't know why bucky doesn't want him. his anxiety butts in all of a sudden, he's not good enough, he's ugly, he's too small, too thin, too broken. he thinks bucky has had a lapse of judgement and this pain in his chest arises, sharp and like liquid rock it stings inside his body.

bucky sees this and tenses, his eyes look over at steve, apologetic. and he leans up to press a slow kiss to the blonde's lips, slow and sweet and telling him that yes, bucky wants him.

but there's still the bitter taste of reluctance and remorse and steve wants to jump off the building.

and then it gets worse because the next thing bucky says sends him reeling.

Et ne nos inducas in tentationem, sed libra nos a malo.

(and lead us not into temptation, but deliver us from evil.)

"we're cousins."

Amen.

**Author's Note:**

> They probably did it anyway. Will be followed by 'Holy Mary' someday.


End file.
